busy-ness

Maybe I'm hitting menopause really early, because man-oh-man I've been going through some waves. I've changed opinions on work and the people there, while the weather has returned to filling my mom's wee apartment with heat. The weather has brought an anslaught of people requesting gelato, making it less easy and therefore less pleasurable.

I've decided that I will never again work in a service based industry after this job. Never. The people I'm working with, although very nice and pleasant to be around, don't exactly share the same goals and aspirations as me. I know where I'm going to be when I'm older, and it is no where near waiting for someone to decide what flavour they want. However elitist this makes me sound it's true, so I suppose this puts me in that class. Good, because I'm going to go places, man. In a Dior suit you will see me in Europe designing cathedral-esque building that will be marvelled for ages! My motivation is driving me to research and create a buisness plan, which I will launch next summer or before under my dad's company. Sounds silly now, for how many 18 year olds have created succesful buisneses? However few that may be they can soon add another one to the list.

There's lots of work to do, including narrowing down the purpose of my buisness. I have lots of ideas to flood into whatever it ends up being, so it's all very exciting. I know it's going to do well, for I have always succeeded in that which I have planned for and artfully created. Some of my design adventures in the past have generated a response saying this is the direction I should go- so why not get started? There is no excuses to hold me back.

Aside from rambling on about something still basically in the womb, I've finished reading the new Harry Potter and loved it. It could not have ended in a more fitting way, however predictable that may have been, it really was the only truly satisfying ending. Other Potter heads hopefully agree with me, and morn the end of such an enthralling series. It's great that kids are excited about literature again, and I think it's very cool that I've been in the same age bracket as Harry for every book released. I don't know about anyone else but I always notice any simularities in a novel I may be reading and my own life. It makes my everyday seem a little more exciting if even a part of it is worthy to be written about. Perhaps that's just me.

Polar extremes

It's now pouring rain and I'm actually enjoying it. Being raised on the west coast creates an appreciation for rain most other demographics don't share. Although it's nice now, another week of this and I'll probably be singing a different tune.

I succesfully bagged a job for the summer. I'm scooping gelato which is really perfect. It's relaxed and easy; something that fits with my idea of summer life. So far the people I've worked with have been great. All girls, minus one, and they are the kind of individuals I was looking for to be friends with. I've never looked forward to going to work before, so this is great.

I'm still missing my friends, and I don't expect that to change even if when I get new ones, but I'm creating distractions for myself to take my mind of what I'm missing.

pessimism

my sunny disposision has pretty much melted. I miss my friends like crazy and right now I'm a little on the depressed side. I have been basically alone the past week and it's suuuch a bummer. I'm trying to find a job but it's not really going so great- the offer's I've recieved are not what I want to be doing and, well, I also don't want to really put myself out there when I feel so crappy.

I woke up completely dehydrated and I think I possibly have heat stroke. My mom's apartment has no air conditioning and the temperature in here was abouuut 35 degrees yesterday. Way to hot for the BC coast. For so long I was craving the sun, so it came with a vengance and now I'm praying for some clouds. Rain even! Snow! Anything other than weather too hot to function properly. I believe that spring and fall are my ideal seasons.

Other than all this, I'm changing my eating habits and being healthy healthy. My mom signed up for this semi extremem diet in which you don't eat dough (big surprise) and have some serious limits on the amount of fat and even protien you eat. It's all weighed out and has to be 5 hours apart. Needless to say I'm not enjoying it, although I have lost about 4 lbs in 3 days. I've been torturing myself with cooking shows because I have nothing else to do. I am SO BORED and it's completly draining my optimism.

If anyone has healthy but seriously delicious recipies PLEASE share them- I am dying here.

relocation

Last day of School:







rebel teens in the highschool bathroom



I've made the big move to another city, and pretty much all my stuff is in storage for the next 2 months. Being in a new city is very exciting. There are all these fresh oppourtunites- a chance to dust off all the cobwebs of my old bad habits. It all feels so NEW and it's great. Plus I no longer have to take any crap from my parents.

Well in this really metropolitian city I'm sitting in my pj's on a friday night. I seriously have no real friends living here, and that's the hardest part. But starting tomorrow I'm looking for a job and hopefully I'm going to meet some people that way. I'm scared to make new friends! It's not that I don't believe I can make them, but my friends circle has always sorta defined who I am, therefore I've been pretty selective in who I hang out with. If I want friends I don't really have that luxury anymore. Ah well, no point in worrying about it until it's actually relevant.

and I'll leave you with flowers

almost asleep

Ahhh too much has happened recently; I could spend the better part of my alotted sleeping time typing it out.

Here's a brief summary:
-Graduated
-Wrote 2 exams with one left
-Got 95% on my calculus exam!
-holycrapit'sofficiallysummer
-My moving date is leering
-Getting a new compu. (Asus R1F - tablet pc. veery nice)
-My keyboard is starting to spew out two M's when I press it once. Frustrating.

that's mostly it. I keep saying how hard it is to believe that I'm graduated, but really, 13 years in school has lead up to this moment and it feels really justified. My highschool experience has been fully realized, complete with all the odd/beautiful events that took place and I'm glad it all happened and made me into this adult (although I don't feel it) that I sit here being.

I wanted to talk about the absurd secrecy of online life but I feel I should be sleeping now. Remember- one more exam to go. Physics 12... ugh.

proper introduction

I never fully introduced myself.

my first name is Morgan, and this is me:




in a somewhat brooding setting. I like photography, and unfourtunatly my most re-occuring subject is myself, as I don't have the guts to ask anyone if they'd be interested in getting their picture taken by me. So, I take a lot of pictures of myself and other things like flowers... animals... boring stuff.

analysis of rut

The aforementioned rut is referring to the one I find myself in. Let's look at it from all sides, shall we:

1. Home life - undesireable, mainly attributed to an evil step mother and lack of emotional support, or outlets for expression in any real way.
2. School life - dragging on in an attempt to prove the fact that highschool really does peeve me on so many levels, and yet is completely indispensable, at least for me. Although, I have no complaints whatsoever concerning my lovely group of friends.
3. Love life - what is that? -So far on the horizon I can only wish.
4. Intrapersonal life - I'm dissatisfied with a lot of personal attributes, and also with the fact that I'm vain in that sense.

There is the grand list of ridiculously ongoing unfourtunate circumstances I pout about on a regular basis. Considering that is basicly all my worries though, that's pretty good I think. The main thing I have problems with is #1 on the list, with today providing much fuel for this rant. I truly believe that because a major major change is so close to happening I'm noticing every little annoyance that much more, and these things would not be bothering me as much if I couldn't almost taste them going away.

ah well, such is life.

a social identity

Throughout my experience as a student I've rotated through many of the stereotypical typecasts of a teenager. I've been the smart one, the rocker, the athlete, the trendy one, and the one in love to name a few. Although I've juggled different identities (or so you could say) I've never felt without a sense of integral self. The notion that one needs to "find themselves" to me is silly. Although you may not like it, you are you, always, at any moment. Phony-ness is only an idea made real by accusers. I believe it's simply another title for a weak character. There is no moment when someone can not be real, so unless reality is somehow different for me the decision to be dishonest is just as real as the decision to be truthful, and considering your decisions dictate your personilty being fake is very much real.

The phrase "keeping it real" is a pet peeve of mine. Although I agree with the statement the phrasing bothers me. The idea of real vs. fake is something I could rant about for hours.

Life, or lack of

Graduation. For many, a time for finding your place in the world and revelling in the reality you had never before imagined, although for me, it's a time for postponement of this matter. I have been given the impression that life is not truly existent to those who are still learning, and by choosing to go to university I'm accepting the next 5 years or so as a well matured drumroll to entering society. The way I see it, I should enjoy this. The working class or even the retired class are generally perceived as unsatisfied with their life and remember their school years as "the best years of their life", or so many a Hollywood movie would tell you.

Therefore as I step fresh out of grade 12 I am in preparation for the best years of my life. My post secondary education; the "post" tense.

Presently, I'm scared/nervous/excited/apprehensive for this whole new chapter to begin.