Review

After finishing reading all my old blogger posts I realized how little and how much I've changed in the past year and a half. I'm unsure on how I stand on some of these changes.

For instance, what I thought would be an eye opening and pleasantly challenging life in university turned out to be an academic roller coaster where I feel no real direction. On the flipside, I'm more outgoing and love my new friends and home in vancouver. Since leaving my parents home I've also come to appreciate family more, and the dynamic between us has changed definitely for the better.

Unfortunately, some things have remained the same BUT as I have already said, it's in the cards for me to change these in the new year, which is unbelievably only 9 days away.

And since I'm still a teenage girl and this is totally warranted, I'm completely in love with robert pattison. I haven't read twilight but just downloaded the audio book (not a laziness issue- more of a time and money issue).

release release release release release

I'm done with engineering.

crowing horizon

one more one more one more one more

I don't think I've yearned to take care of my body more than I do at this point.
Exams are black holes that suck saline water from bellybuttons until all that's left is oily chalk.

This doesn't even feel over-dramatic at this point.

That kind of twenty year old

I'm turning twenty in one month and three days. People use birthdays, the new year, the start of the week, and any sort of defining moment as an excuse to create new beginnings. So this is my excuse. Well, more than an excuse, it's turning into the time where I'm fed up with the way I've been living. My last posts reflect this. You can see as well as I that the laziness I've adopted is proving detrimental to myself in more ways than one. It manifests itself in my schoolwork, my work, my health, and thus my overall happiness.

I have a tattoo of the key to happiness on my ribs. I chose this because it symbolizes that, no matter what, I hold the power to change my life into something that nourishes me. I hold the key to happiness, and it's about time I unlocked that door.

So, here is my resolution. New years and my birthday fall within 15 days of one another. Starting on new years, I resolve to build a momentum of positive habits until I've found a healthy schedule that allows me to continuously grow and evolve into the strong, successful, vibrant, and beautiful woman I am MORE than capable of becoming.

With so many ideas swimming through my head of my ideal life, I'm excited to get started and start getting noticed in the industries I want to be noticed in.

Hello architecture, fashion, industrial design. My name is Morgan and I'm here to stay.

Some things that have been sifting through my head lately.

Lucid dreaming. When I was younger I often had lucid dreams. As I've grown up, these have become more and more uncommon. Now I feel like I barely dream. The foggy memories I have of my dreams quickly fade within the time it takes for me to get out of bed. Since I think lucid dreaming is one of the most amazing things you can experience, I'm working on making them happen again. This means I'm starting to keep a dream journal, look for dream signs, and perform reality checks to make myself wake inside my sleeping state. I've been able to do it before after learning some pointers from the movie Waking Life, now I'm focusing on doing it consistently.

University exams. Pushing through them. They are only on my mind out of necessity at this point. No reason to bore anyone with the details surrounding them.

Future environments. The clearest part of my future vision is the house and office I'll inhabit. Simultaneously bright, clean, modern, and welcoming, it appears this is the most important part of who I want to grow into. Along with this is location. About 4 and a half years ago I went to Holland and France, and while I was there fell in love with Holland. Even now, looking at the material coming out of such a small but extremely innovative country is pushing me even more so to look at how this will happen for me.

so much for so little

So much:
aspirations. Visions of where I know I'll be one day, but today only think about. That person who creates so much and is so fantastic at making her visions real. That will be me soon, but unfortunately not today. Unfortunately today I'm struggling to find my way into this place. Being in engineering where the balance of art and science that I so. desperately . need. is not met has proven to make me lazy. mmmm and unhappy with my laziness. I am capable of so much more. SO MUCH MORE! Now I'm disappointed in myself

So little:
done. I've been doing so little.


This will pass, I know I am about to rise.

now rise morgan

A little slack on the posting
ok a lot slack

shutup you.

well, anyways. The rain is smacking the pavement like an obese ass hitting hot vinyl and I'm at work. I'm at work doing nothing.

I really like this room though. You can tell old people are in here a lot, it has that feeling of dust that only chalk bones swathed in paper skin can create. The stoic excersize machines, barely broken in despite their obvious age are mocking me a little. Yes a whole week and $8 of my gym membership are gone, so stop it already.

Maybe I'd go more if my gym were this gym. Shining like a superstar athlete the old cronies would see my rippling muscles and talc would escape their lips.